And it’s all just a jump to the left!
The Criminologist has no neck. Frank is a transvestite that will fuck anything that moves. Rocky is only 1/7th of a man. Columbia gets shot in the tits by a laser. Dr. Scott is a cripple but fishnets cure paraplegia. Eddie has a Teddy, then he becomes dinner. Janet is a slut. Brad is an asshole. Magenta and Riff Raff love incest. Frank didn’t go down and as a result is killed. The castle gets beamed back to Transsexual Transylvania.
I’ve recently re-fallen in love with the Muppets. The new film, the first in ten years, seems full of the zany sweetness and unashamed, slightly corny, childlike wisdom that makes the Muppets so charming.
Trying to bring them into the 21st century by removing them from it was a major mistake on the part of the franchise. The Muppets can certainly fit in anywhere, and can be great fun in space or on the high seas. But they belong in the real world— sort of. That sort-of-real world that exposes one to grave danger, fosters growth and yet shelters innocence. That sort-of-real world that we all imagined being part of as children. Idealism isn’t crushed there. Teamwork makes you stronger, helps you face your fears on your own. Mountains always cost, always hurt, but they can always be climbed. And the view from the top is always worth it.
I’m really happy to see the Muppets being resurrected in that spirit, the same way that they started. With love and innocence, and a gloriously self-referential sense of humor, on dual levels of understanding. And cannonballs. And misunderstandings. And requited love. And Mahna Mahna.
I’m really happy to see Jason Segal going back to the beginning, with a story that feels not trite as much as comfortable, a way to come home. For all of us who grew up in dust and the glitter backstage at the old Muppet Theater, coming home is what it’s like. To a reminder of a time when we really believed.
Because even under all the jaded exhaustion and sharp contrariness of our chaotic adult lives, we still do. And believe, too, that somehow— someday— we’ll find it. That song about rainbows.
It’s still something that we’re supposed to be.
Report: Life Put In Hands of 2,000 Complete Strangers Every Day
WASHINGTON—According to a new report from the National Institute for Safety Management, on any given day, the average American’s life is entrusted to more than 2,000 different people who are complete strangers.
The report, which shows how any one of these anonymous individuals making a single mistake can easily cause another person’s death, concluded that it is only through sheer luck that anyone ever makes it through a 24-hour period alive.
People you don’t know [read more]